


Lurking in the dark

by MahaliaPride



Series: Alexander's Misadventure [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Branding, Captivity, Chains, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Face Slapping, Feels, Hangover, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Needs A Hug, Kidnapping, M/M, Marquis de Lafayette Speaks French, Multi, Party, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Slapping, Suicide Attempt, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MahaliaPride/pseuds/MahaliaPride
Summary: When Alex is kidnapped, every one is lost. But when he turns up at Johns door, showing signs of torture, whatever will his friends do?





	Lurking in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for Rape, Implied Self Harm, Torture and Suicide Attempt

"Uurgh...." John cracked opened his eyes, "Worst hangover yet..." Slowly, John got to his feet, a sharp headache shooting through him as he did so. John, luckily, had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room so he was only a few paces away from the kitchen.   
  
Groggily and in a lethargic motion, John poured himself a large glass of water, downing it in one go. Taking some ibuprofen as well.   
  
Coming to his senses a little, he realised his dear Alex wasn't snuggled up against John when he had woken up. "Alex?" John called out, only aggravating his headache a little bit.   
  
Sighing, John walked to the other side of their shared dorm and opened up the office door. But Alex wasn't rapidly typing away at his computer with a starved look in his eyes and a dozen Redbull-coffee mixed drinks littering the desk.   
  
_He wasn't there at all._  
  
John was a little worried.  _Okay, maybe not a little worried._  John looked into the bedroom, Alex wasn't sleeping there.  _Bathroom_. Alex wasn't relapsing in there or throwing up from the party.   
  
The party.   
  
_That's right! The party!_  
  
John checked his phone.   
  
_A sigh of relief._  
  
Lighting up the screen was text from his dear Alex. Unlocking the screen, and opening the messages app.   
  
**From: Alex ︎︎︎︎**  
  
Hey, so I'm heading to the dorms. I told Laf to tell you but he won't so this is just in case. Stay safe k? Try not to drink too much. Love you ︎︎︎︎  
  
Dammit, Laf.  
  
But then where was Alex today? Probably out. John had just finished sending a text to him when Laf walked into the kitchen, yawning. " _Merde... J'ai une mauvaise gueule de bois..._ " Laf grumbled in his native tongue. Only Alex could understand French.   
  
"You look like shit," John said handing Laf a glass of water and ibuprofen. " _Casse toi._ " John chuckled. He knew what that meant at least.   
  
When Laf had downed the water and medication John cleared his throat, "Where's your boyfriend?"  
  
"John you  _connard_ , out." Laf clipped.   
  
"Did he take Alex with him?" Lafayette looked at John questionably, "No..?-"  
  
"He wasn't at his desk. Hasn't responded to my texts." John cut in. Lafs face fell a little bit in worry. " _Connerie_. Maybe he is out with the Schuyler sisters?" Laf suggested.   
  
"I'll call them."  
  
~~~  
  
Alexander was many things. He was the son of James A Hamilton. He was a person who watched his mother die. He wrote his way out of hell, traded sugarcane and rum and all the things he can't afford. He scammed people to get every book he could get his hands on. He watched his cousin commit suicide. Then he moved to New York.   
  
He met Aaron Burr, a friendly face in the crowd. An emotionless one, but still. Then he met John Laurens, Marquis de Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan in a bar. The moment Alex laid eyes on John his heart went boom. It felt like it tore apart and then repaired in a second.   
  
Now Alex was the boyfriend of John, the friend of Aaron, Lafayette, Hercules and a group of sisters that he met a week later. College was going well. Life was good. That's where Alex was now.   
  
Having a good time with all his friends at Thomas Jefferson's party. "How long does this blasted party go for?" Alex grumbled, sober, but tired. " _Mon ami_  we are partying till,  _how you say,_ we drop!" Lafayette slurred, his French accent seeming thicker.   
  
"Okay, if that's the case I'm going back to the dorms. Laf make sure you tell John and Herc okay?" He knew Laf probably would forget the moment he left so he left a text for John.   
  
**To: Johnny ︎︎︎︎**  
  
Hey, so I'm heading to the dorms. I told Laf to tell you but he won't so this is just in case. Stay safe k? Try not to drink too much. Love you ︎︎︎︎  
  
Alex turned off his phone and stuffed it into his pocket, taking one more swig of the crappy alcohol. "Night Laf." He said over his shoulder, positive that Laf didn't hear him.   
  
Stepping out into the street made Alex regret wanting to leave, he debated whether he should walk back to the party to escape the cold, crisp autumn air.   
  
Sighing, he zipped up his jacket and began the ten-minute walk back to campus as Thomas was "too rich to live near the peasants".   
  
Alex thought he heard the gravel crunch behind him, but when he turned to check, he just saw the dark and lonely street behind him.   
  
Huffing, Alex turned around, barely walking a few meters before an arm snaked around his neck and everything went dark.   
  
~~~  
  
"Laf no one knows where he is!" John wailed just as Hercules returned to their dorm. Herc was surprised, to say the least. Laf and John were laying on the floor and John was crying. "What'd I miss?"  
  
" _Cherie_  no one has seen Alex. Not Burr, George or Martha, Maria, Peggy, Eliza, Angelica, John or myself. We even asked Jefferson and Madison. Have you seen him?" Lafs large and tearful eyes looked into his boyfriends, yearning for comfort.   
  
Herc's heart sank and he gave John a hearty hug, "I haven't."  
  
"This is serious. We are calling someone." Johns' voice cracked as he said 'serious'.  Laf tried to grab John into a hug, " _Mon ami breathe._ " Laf soothed as John proceeded to wail 'we need to find him' until his cries for Alex were muffled sobs.   
  
Laf and Herc shared worried and concerned looks, having a silent conversation in a mere few seconds. " _Mon ami_  let's go report this okay?"   
  
John swore he heard Laf mumble, " _Mon cher Alex. Où es-tu..._ " John nodded as he stood, feeling number than he had in a long time. The time before he had Alex.   
  
~~~  
  
Alex cracked his eyes open, a musky smell hitting his nose before he could see his surroundings. His head felt heavy and throbbed at the slightest movement. Alex lifted his hand up to his face when he heard a clinking noise.   
  
_Chains._  
  
Oh, my God. What am I doing in chains! Where am I? John?! Where is he? Is he okay??   
  
Will I survive....?  
  
Alex was thrashing against the chains, trying to wrestle himself out of them. Tugging and pulling at them, even though they dug into his skin.   
  
Suddenly Alex heard shoes clicking above him, and immediately Alex shrunk, realising he had alerted his captor that he was awake.   
  
Alex couldn't see anything, but he was pretty sure he was in a stone room. The floor felt like it was made of cobblestone, or maybe bluestone...? It was certainly cold in this room... The only source of light was the light shining from under the door on the other side of the room and the small glass square in the door.   
  
A window so they could always monitor him.   
  
Suddenly the large and, obviously heavy door, judging by the sound it makes, opens.   
  
Alex flinches, turning away from his captor.   
  
"Oh, darling don't shy away! I only want a good look at you! Especially because you're awake this time!" Alex knows this voice that speaks with over-enthusiasm.   
  
What's his name?  
  
Jonathan? Jeff? Greg? Groff?   
  
_Oh._  
  
George.   
  
Alexander vaguely remembered him. He had caused quite a ruckus among the student body when he raised the prices of food in the cafeteria.   
  
Alexander had immediately taken it to the student board and made them reduce the prices. Alex smiled, remembering how Burr had said the teachers would have it out for him, and how he shouldn't do it.   
  
Would Burr be wondering where he was? Would everyone be-  
  
"Alex! Deary! Snap out of it!" Alex focused on George King in front of him, trying, to do his best scowl.   
  
"Oh, dear don't be like that! You're going to love it here. It's our home now! I know that it may not look like much but it'll grow on you! Maybe if you're good enough, I'll let you personalise it hmm?" George glowered.   
  
Alex somehow found his voice, "You're a psychopath and an idiot if you think you can keep me trapped in this godforsaken place you can call a home."  
  
George's face fell and it took Alex a small amount of time to feel the sharp stinging pain on his cheek.   
  
"You will begin to learn to treat me with respect or there will be  _severe consequences. Do I make myself clear_?"   
  
Alex looked George dead in the eye. "Fuck you."   
  
Another slap.   
  
Another.   
  
Another and another.   
  
~~~  
  
" _Je ne peux plus le faire..._ " Laf whispered, scared to admit his feelings. To be vulnerable.   
  
Sighing he looked over to Hercules and John, sleeping in the chairs opposite of him in the police station.   
  
It was late, John and Herc were tired. Laf was tired. And they were all dreading over where Alex was.   
  
Laf couldn't sleep. He rarely ate.   
  
_How could he? When for all he knew, Alex could be rotting away in some- **stopthat.**_  
  
Constantly he had told John and Herc, ' _Oh Cherie. Il va bien. Nous lui trouverons. Nous devons lui trover. Ne vous inquiétez pas. s'il vous plaît, mon ami.'_ But he found it hard to find the reassurance in his own voice.   
  
_Because goddamit! Alex had suffered enough! Why did it have to be him? Why didn't I walk him to our dorm that night? Where was I when he needed me?!?_  
  
Laf choked back a sob, trying to make himself quieter in the desolate station, but it was enough to wake Herc although Laf didn't realise.   
  
Seeing Laf cry, Herc panicked. Herc lightly tapped Johns shoulder, who stirred slowly. Herc pointed to Laf and John and he shared a worried glance.   
  
Laf could absent-mindedly be aware that there were arms around him, hugging him, comforting him, but until he stopped crying, they merely felt like ghosts.   
  
_Mon petit lion... Please, I pray, stay alive._  
  
~~~  
  
"Alex~!" A voice called as light taps of feet came from the staircase, "are you up?"   
  
The person behind the voice opened up the door, the light from the corridor hurting Alex's eyes, so his face shyer away from looking at the pompous fuck in front of him.   
  
"What do you want now...?" Alex grumbled, already feeling the foreign sense of defeat.   
  
_No_ , Alex thought,  _I will not bow down. I will not falter and I'll get the hell out of here._  
  
"Darling don't be that way! Come on you know what I want!" George's expression remained the same, but Alex could feel it darken with the thoughts of what he'd do to Alex.   
  
Alex raised his eyes to look into Georges. "Fuck you. You have been twisted and masochistic from the moment you put me in this godforsaken place. You're a pompous fuck and a cruel bastard so do not act as if I have a shred of freedom or consent here because I am living in a 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' situation. Do not give me a false sense of security or freedom in being here. " Alex spat out to George.   
  
Suddenly Alex was filled with regret.   
  
_He was utterly fucked._  
  
He looked at George's face. It was completely placid.   
  
There was no sign or anger or malice, but Alex felt so utterly petrified for the first time in his life.   
  
Slowly George unlocked his shackles on his wrists and ankles, suddenly he grabbed Alex's hair. "Think of running and you will have lost the grace of my hospitality in keeping you alive."   
  
Alex knew George was strong from the time he slapped him, but when he grabbed Alex's wrist, he thought it'd honestly snapped in two.   
  
He was hauled out of his little prison and out into the hallway where it was a lot brighter, so it hurt his eyes and he looked down.   
  
Suddenly they both came to a halt after walking 15 paces as George had to open a door.     
  
Alex was pushed inside and ungraciously fell as the heavy door slammed behind him. Slowly and carefully, Alex raised his head to observe his surroundings. His blood ran cold.   
  
_This is an actual torture chamber._

 

 

There was a fireplace, a water tank, a whelk attached to the ceiling, a table, and a wall full of blades. Alex was sure there was more that his brain just wasn't processing and blocking out for him so he wouldn't be overwhelmed. 

"Now I hope to educate you, and maybe discipline you and teach you to show me respect. Get up." 

Alex pushed himself up, feeling tears prick into his eyes. He turned to George, "Do not be like that  _dear._ " George slapped Alex again, making Alex stumble backwards slightly. 

Alex's back hit a heavy something. 

_The table._

Suddenly before he could tell what was happening, a cuff was put on Alex's wrist and he was pushed onto the table. Then he was strapped to the table and panic consumed him. 

 

 

George had then pushed Alex further into the table, grabbing his free wrist and cuffing that as well. Alex tried to use his feet to kick George, but George dealt a swift punch to his gut, making Alex double over. Suddenly both of Alex's ankles were cuffed and he knew that it was over. 

 

George stared into Alex's eyes before sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. He sighed, "Now I am utterly ridden with guilt to do this, but you need to be punished for your little outburst out there. I hope this won't make you hate me, it's just that I need to discipline you and remind you or where you stand." George stood slowly, a sense of guilt in his eyes, outmatched however by the sense of anger. 

 

"This may hurt a bit" he reminded Alex ungraciously. From behind Alex's head on the wall a few paces away, George pulled something off that made a heavyweight sound. 

 

When George walked in front of Alex, Alex saw the apparatus in all of its rusted glory. 

 

Essentially, Alex was looking at a type of sleek knife, if it weren't for all the rust and grit lining the blade. "Hold still," George said stepping forward and Alex began to thrash against the restraints. Taking a sharp intake of breath, George sliced open Alex's skin, jaggedly and deep, and screams filled the heavy air. 

~~~

 

 

John bolted up in his bed. Sweating and with a bad feeling filling the pit of his stomach. He doesn't know how, but he just knows that it's something to do with Alex. 

 

His beautiful Alexander. Missing. 

 

A wet sob escapes his lips and John curls in on himself, wanting to just disappear and reappear next to Alex. 

 

But he can't. 

 

So instead he cries for forever maybe, just imagining Alex turning up dead in a ditch in a few weeks. Or hanging from a bridge. Or bleeding in the street. Or face down in a river, or even with his body tainted sexual- _stopitstopitAlexisfineheisjustfinesopleaseletmeout!!!_

 

But it won't stop, so John falls asleep with his face still wet and his heart even further broken. 

 

~~~

 

Setting the rusted knife in the desk, George sighed, "Darling...I'm just wishing that this behaviour would stop. Then I'd see that you are accepting this new lifestyle." He turned to Alex, tutting slightly. 

 

"Oh I've tainted your skin further then you have," George stated lightly, tracing the self-harm scars on Alex's inner wrist. Unwillingly, tears slipped from Alex's eyes, "Stop it," Alex choked out, "Stop touching me this way. Only John can touch me. He's the only one who can see me like this." 

 

Alex pulled slightly against the restraints, an attempt to wipe his eyes, but when he couldn't, it made him break down further. As George went to reach for Alex's face, Alex screeched loudly and thrashed wildly against the restraints, " _Don't touch me! Take me ba-Fuck! Take me back to John, you fucking bastard!"_

 

George pulled his hand back from where it was trying to rest on Alex's face, "Alex deary, I love you more than John ever will. And you're never going b-"

 

"I hate you! I  _fucking hate_ you!" Alex lurched forward in his restraints once more, his skin was peeling back and beginning to bleed. He twisted his wrists and yanked them, trying to loosen the cuffs, going to leave a bruise on his bones if he didn't stop. 

 

Instead of stopping him, George stared at Alex's break down a few feet away. Waiting for when he would finish. 

 

When Alex seemed to have stopped, body going slack and hope drained from his eyes, George stepped closer. "Alright, tonight is going to be a long night for you... If it weren't for your outburst, you could've scored a night back in your hospitable cell..." 

 

Looking back at the apparatus choice range, George said aloud quite nonchalantly, "Lets chose something different..."

 

Picking up a branding rod, George gazed at the slightly-clotted cuts he had made 20 minutes prior. "Let's seal these up shall we." We a sharp intake of breath, George stepped behind Alex's table and stuck the rod Alex had seen when he was first put in here. 

 

When George steps back around the table, Alex can see the emblem of the brand. 

 

_Three in Roman numerals._  

 

Slowly George pushes the rod against Alec body, and a small fire spreads in his body. The rod is pressed into his skin, using it to keep him in place as Alex realises he's been trying to rip himself out of the cuffs. 

 

The rod is removed from his body, only to be stuck back in the fire and on another wound. The first burn feels as if even the air aggravates the skin. Alex just wants it gone. 

 

_He wants to fucking tear it off._  

 

Soon Alex wants to cut his skin like he used to. Twisting his trusty blade, mutilating his skin and hurting.  _Hurting badly._

 

But then it's over. Alex skin isn't being pressed on,  _but it burns. It burns so much. Oh god please if John were here..._

 

So Alex lets himself lower his guard, and he falls asleep tied to a table with his body still feeling like fire, tears in his eyes, and John in his heart. 

 

~~~

 

Herc was lost,  _he truly was._ He stared at people around him breaking down, and he himself couldn't do anything about it. He watched his boyfriend cry in the station a few nights back, and he heard John wake up last night, crying for a half of an hour. 

 

And all Herc could do was stare. 

 

He decided he'd look at photos of Alex. He had many. He had one picture where Alex wanted to be in Hercs selfie, that he leaned back in his chair, but leaned too far and ended up on the ground. 

 

Of course in the selfie, he was blurry and tipped back in his chair. 

 

Herc sniffled, seated on the edge of the bed. He scrolled through each photo of them on his phone until he couldn't see his phone anymore because everything was too blurry and his phone screen was covered in tears. 

 

Maybe he should've been more aware, because then maybe he would've had time to hear Laf coming up the stairs, and calling for him casually, but becoming horrified as he saw his boyfriend crying. 

 

Laf rushed next to Herc, on his knees, " _Mon Cherie_  it'll be alright. We can get through, and we will find Alex." They interlaced their hands and rested their foreheads together.

 

~~~

 

_He's been good. He had been g o o d. He'd behaved for George as if he were a fucking dog, but he did it.  So why?_

_Is it because I snapped..? Was I not good enough? Is it because I name called? Is that why you have grabbed me by the arm and throw me back in the torture chamber?_

_Is that why you are ripping my clothes off me? Am I not even worthy of those? Is that why you're screaming in my face, saying I deserve it?_

_So I deserve this? You digging your trimmed nails into my skin and using your porcelain hand to slap me?_

_I deserve this...? You pushing me to the floor and fingering me with two fingers that just scream vicious sex, not love like me and John._

_I deserve this. You screaming that I am a fucking whore for still thinking his name, turning me on my stomach and fucking me from behind._

_I fucking deserve this as you ram into me, making yourself cum, but I don't, you still proceed to fuck me like the whore I am._

_But don't worry, I'm not going to put up with it for long._

_~~~_

They were all grieving in different ways, the sisters. 

 

Peggy had kept up her image socially, but when she returned to her home, she locked herself in her room, only coming out for dinner and hygiene purposes. 

 

She wasn't just moping around though. Every second she spent in her room, she spent trying to draw Alex perfectly. She never could. But practising drawing him when he wasn't there was the only way for her to remember his face. 

 

Eliza did not grieve. It was as if she knew that deep down, Alex would find his way back. And if he did, _when he did_ , he'd bring a storm. 

 

Eliza secretly harboured feelings for Alex when she'd first seen him on campus. The only problem though was that he had his arm slung around John, who was his boyfriend. So instead of grieving the disappearance of Alexander, Eliza did a very Alexander like thing and turned to her volunteer work at the orphanage down the street. 

 

Angelica was sinking. The charismatic Alexander was missing. Angelica was aware of all the unsaid romantic feelings people had toward Alex. Including herself if she was honest. But she knew that he'd never be satisfied with her, and she knew that he was a determined and magnetic person. 

 

He had opinions, and these would either destroy him or protect him. She hoped it would be the latter. She was sure. He'd make it back and he'd owe us all an apology and a weekend full of drinking. 

 

~~~

 

"Alex I'm beginning to think you want me to kill you. You don't really want to be tamed do you.." George sighed, lines of distress had begun to show at the edges of his eyes. George had just sliced open Alex's skin as if it were paper, the marks of rape were still there as well. "I swear this is the last time. Hopefully, it'll shock you to your senses." 

 

George walked behind Alex yet again, except this time Alex didn't hear the heavy clank of something being pulled from the wall. Instead, Alex heard something tugging and hastening. Then a scratchy material was looped over his neck. 

 

Alex was unfastened from his cuffs, but before he could even run, he was being hoisted in the air. George had suspended his body with the rope he had in his hand connecting to the wheel in the ceiling and then to his neck. 

 

Alex twisted as twirled in the air for a couple of minutes, as he held the rope in his hands, trying to get it away from his neck. His blood thundered through his ears and it felt as if each cut on his body was swollen and it felt  _wrong_. He his feet kicked helplessly, and just as he could feel his eyes starting to cloud over, Alex was dropped to the floor suddenly, the noose still around his neck. 

 

Before Alex could regain his composure, he was yanked by his hair, and his head was dunked in the water tank. 

 

Alex couldn't breathe and he grabbed fruitlessly at George's hands to try and get him off of his neck. Soon Alex could feel the strength he was using to try and get out of George grip, start to lessen. 

 

Before Alex could pass out, he was pulled out of the water and thrown onto his back. Alex doubled over and coughed up anything he could, water, food, bile. All the same to Alex. 

 

Before Alex could turn to George and beg for him to stop, he was pulled into the air, then dunked in the water, then pulled into the air, and dunked into the water. Over and over and over and over again. 

 

The George was pulling the noose off of Alex's head, and untying it so he could wrap it around the coil. 

 

Alex didn't think, he stumbled to his feet quickly, grabbed a blind object off of the wall, and slammed it over George's head. 

 

_Hard._

 

George collapsed in a glittery and shiny heap, but Alex didn't care. He ran. 

 

He pushed open the doors in the hellhole, trying to find the exit. 

 

The building he had been in the whole time just turned out to be Georges house that he inherited. 

 

Alex had been to a party here, and even though his broke ass was half drunk when he was, he knew where to go. Alex pushed open the large oak doors and stumbled in the New York chilly air. 

 

He doesn't know how, but Alex's mind shut down, it was merely his body working from now on. He ran down streets as if he'd run down them before, he knew the stores he passed and wondered how. 

 

He was deprived of many things. 

 

Maybe that was why he was knocking on a familiar door that belonged to a very special person. 

 

~~~

 

John was going to do it. He was done waiting for things to get better. He was fine waiting for Alex to return. He was done, and that was final. So he sat in the middle of his bathroom, on the cold white tiles, with Alex's blade in his hands. 

 

When Alex was around, John would've never used this. He never even though if suicide because he was  _happy with Alex. And Alex is gone._

John had confiscated Alex's blades for safekeeping on Alex's side but now he had it for him. 

 

He hadn't left a note because John decided he'd carve  _A L E X_  into his arm, and that would speak loud enough for his friends. 

 

Friends. 

 

He knew he'd be leaving them, but John cannot carry forward anymore. 

 

John looks at himself in the mirror for one final time. His hair is greasy and frames his face like a frizzy and unhappy dog. His eyes looked sunken into his face. His skin on his face is all blotchy from all the constant crying. 

 

_I look so small._

 

Just as he lets the cold metal from the blade touching his skin, he hears a fast rapping on the door. 

 

Sighing, John decides he can answer a salesman before he decides to off himself. As he stumbles through the dorm, the light rapping against door happens again. "Alright, alright! I'm coming!"

 

He swings the door open, half pissed off now and ready to give the salesman a piece of his mind. But the words die on his tongue as he looks into the eyes of the person at his door. 

 

_It's Alexander._  

 

With a small teary smile, his dear Alexander collapses in his arms. 

 

~~~

 

Laf was sleeping when he heard a call rouse him. " _Laf! Laf! Lafayette! Get your French ass down here!"_

Going into panic mode, Laf bolted up and stumbled to the source of Johns cries. " _Merde_  John what is it..?" John looked up at him, his eyes wide and teary. There is a figure in Johns' arms. Lafs eyes widen, " _Connerie_...that isn't-," Laf takes a hesitant step forward, "that can't be..." 

 

Rushing next to his closet friends he calls out, "Hercules you  _connard_! Get down here!" Hercules large form stumbles into the front room, and in seeing three figures in a bundle on the floor, he rushes over, stopping when he can see the passed out shape. "Oh, my fu-"

 

~~~

 

_People talking. Too loud._

_Birds outside. Too loud._

_Cars. Loud._

_Pacing. Loud._

_Lying down. In a blanket. This blanket doesn't feel right. It hurts the skin I need to tear off of me._

_There's a light on. No. It's daylight. It's too bright._

_There's food. It's pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast._

_It hurts. It's all too much._

Alex makes an attempt to turn on his side quietly, but a pained groan escapes his lips. Suddenly voices and pacing outside of the room he's in all stops. There is hushed arguing for a few seconds before it stops and feet approaching the room gets louder. 

 

Slowly the door opens and the person who steps in is his dear John. "Hi babe.." he croaks, "I'm really sorry I couldn't escort you home after that party at Dick-ersons." Alex tries a smile, it hurts his jaw and feels wrong, but it looks like it makes John happy. 

 

"Hey, baby..." John pulls up a chair next to the bed Alex is it. Alex now realised that this is the hospital. John reaches for Alex's hand, but Alex flinches. 

 

_The gentleness...can easily morph into anger..._

 

John looks slightly hurt, but he masks it with understanding. So instead he rests his hand on the mattress, waiting patiently for Alex to take it. 

 

Feeling Johns' hand...it's enough to make Alex cry. Slowly John moves toward him and embraces Alex, "Let it all out, baby..." So Alex does. He cries into Johns' neck, longing for all of which he was denied and what he was told was wrong and that he didn't deserve. "We can talk about this all later, and I swear to you I'll make this right..."

 

Alex cried himself out for a few minutes, and when he's done, John presses a gentle kiss to his temple. "Sleep baby...we can solve this all tomorrow..." And Alex is so used to being in survival mode, that being able to relax and care about something later, sends him into the deepest sleep. 

 

_I may not solve this today, but John and the rest of my friends will solve it together. And I'll be happy and I'll heal eventually._


End file.
